A new theory of sex

This page is here to document my new theory of sex.

This theory is meant to contrast with my older theories of sex which I considered to be insufficient

This is a generally more optimistic and more sex-positive theory than my previous theories.

History of the article
This is inspired by an ongoing conversation on the healthygamergg discord originally called "I want to change my cynical views on sex" posted on November 5th 2022

This artidle may be moved over eusexuality after completion, depending on whether it provides a sufficiently well done theory of eusexiality and whether it remains in the scope

Big Five
Misc papers might find the one on conscientiousness I was looking for

This is the paper I was looking for conscientiousness has many positive impacts on sexuality and sex life which generally seem very good, but later age of initiation

Misc papers

Am I attractive?
Yes I am attractive. I get so many yeses in the few scenarios where they would be appropriate. I am just not in those scenarios enough. My belief is that this likely means gender dysphoria just covered up me seeing myself as attractive, and girls who can say yes do say yes.

Environment vs Age
Enviornment vs age is a controversial thing that can make it so people have preconceived notions on certain things. For example beingh high school age vs in a high school environment

Time Horizons
Sex gets better with age and investment in your sex life, it is a long term thing. Shit like taking as many virginitites as you can (which is short term youth focused) is not the correct way to address this.

Sex peaks late in life. I previously believed it peaked in twenties then went to its worst in the thirties and asymptotically increased but never reached the twenties earlier, but that is just not true

Environment
Not really. But domicide can certainly make it seem so.

Age of sexual initiation overall has negative effects. Sexual guilt and lack of sexual dysfunction are exceptions. Overall it has a positive effect on relationship satisfaction and otherwise

The idea of different development speeds with same goal generally seems accurate, but one issue is at play with it. Environmgnets changing can make it feel like more was lost from losing it later, or maybe to be more accurate more is lost just by virtue of changing environments as a result of domicide.

These things are the case though with some caveats, namely domicide is an actual problem to resolve rather than just an inevitable thing, the purpose of the Church of Evolution is primarily to resolve domicide (the ninefold vaccine goes in alo order).

One shouldn't feel inferior over having been victim to a top down abusive domicidal regime.

High school
High school sex isn't that good. However the Domicide of high school can make it feel more important

Some people, myself included desire a kind of scenario where rumors of you being good at sex lead to more people being into you which leads to more sex and more rumors. That is something which is gonna happen more in high school than other times, no clue if it happens in polyamorous or kink communities, but if it did then that Domicide would be very effectively resolved.

There’s a whole other debate about the nature of high school socializing. It’s likely unrepresentative of the world in ways that make it just unethical to put people through. I’m making a video on that topic called ”Is high school unethical?”.

This is a rather foreign debate to our culture. Is high school socializing in some way superior to adulthood socializing? I’d say yes. There are a few caveats: the biggest being that the people you’re socializing with are worse. Stigmatizing wanting to go back to high school is not good, as I believe most of it is related to a more organic social environment (alongside a few big artificial restrictions that are familiar to you).

As far as this relates to the sexual environment it means sex is more communal in high school.

One shouldn’t complain about things or feel like one was inferior for not having had sex in high school. Conditions are different and they are combined with it being a relatively young age. Part of the unethicalness of high school is that you are deceived into thinking the world will always be that way. I believe almost everyone who is 22 would be able to find someone in a high school environment (with other 22 year olds so in 16th grade). But it creates false optimism for the future.

College
Basically just high school but worse. Slightly better sex in exchange for worse chances to meet people.

Greek life is a bit of an anomaly but i haven’t participate so I can’t comment.

Vanity metrics
Vanity metrics don't matter

They don't matter in business and personal life is business so they shouldn't matter in personal life. Only actionable metrics matter

Vanity metrics include
 * total sex partners
 * not relevant to current situation
 * It’s like number of YouTube subscribers
 * since it’s lifetime it means it can represent someone’s past while being completely unrepresentative of their present or future
 * virginities taken
 * big metric of success but one that almost exclusively lines up with teenage success
 * it’s pretty envy inducing but doesn’t map onto much
 * best interpreted as a proxy for amount of sex partners when young. Happens pretty reliably in a young sexually active person and not at all for an old sexually active person
 * as such is even more of a vanity metric than total sex partners, for most people it will fundamentally have no relevance to their current situation

Human explanations
Here are explanations in human motives of why someone might choose one lifestyle over another. No Evolutionary psychology

Why would someone go for casual sex

 * avoiding emotional intimacy
 * It’s arguably socially easier to have casual sex
 * My experience was just atypical as a product of my social environment

Why would someone go for monogamy

 * long term benefits and investment

Why would someone go for polyamory

 * family-like structure

Why right wingers are more sexually satisfied, satisfaction vs goodness
Why right wingers are more sexually satisfied. Chem says it's because right wingers have lower expectations and worse sex lives Which is an interesting position even if I dispute being good at sex is valuable. Satisfaction vs goodness is an interesting debate.

Enforced monogamy
tl;dr enforced monogamy bad polycule good

Enforced monogamy is an interesting position. I generally accept the moral imperative to it as fact but don't feel it fits me, this creates a unique kind of sexual guilt in me.

I'm afraid/guilty over success not failure

Having reassessed it and done a reddit post on it I have concluded this is not a reason to feel guilty

Main reason being that the notion assumes something of a monogamous framing from the start. One can argue it's more of a question of if monogamy works when you don't follow monogamy. Of course it won't